LET THERE BE (PORCH) LIGHT!


Traveling through my second month of retirement to-do lists (yes, there’s more than one) I’ve finished restaining the deck, painting the deck chairs, redecorating our bathroom, and a dozen lesser projects. Notable this week was installation of a brand new shiny front porch light to replace the scary, spider infested rust-lantern I’ve been cussing out for the last fifteen years – can’t believe I suffered in semi-silence all that time! Given any amount of wet weather (note that in Seattle that’s pretty much every week), moisture inevitably seeped into the socket, blowing the bulb like the climax of a New Years Eve fireworks display. Don’t know how many dead light bulbs I contributed to the landfill but I’m wracked with guilt. Never mind, I shall sin no more in that regard.

Learned many things in the process of installing my pretty new porch light. At the top of the list: it’s wonderful to have a tall son who can be coerced into assisting. Even with a step ladder I was still below the cascade of dessicated bug parts that came pouring out of the old fixture. Bluck, ptui. Another thing learned: it’s wise to notify all the members of the household BEFORE you throw the circuit breakers! Mom thought she’d finally inflicted permanent damage to her computer. In addition, remember that it’s a silly idea that all your fingernails need to be all the same length. And make sure that before you launch into a similar project you are current on your tetanus shots and you have a complete first aid kit. Have fun.

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